Homesickness
Starting University or College is exciting! Most of you will have
an idea from friends or family of what to expect before they get
there. Whether you do or not, homesickness can affect anyone. Any
change of routine can set it off, and there is no bigger change
than going away to University or College for the first time. And
don’t forget, these feelings are perfectly normal.
Homesickness affects everyone differently. Some people just get an inkling, maybe in the first few days they feel a bit low being away from their home and family. For others it may be something that lasts and can lead to depression or anxiety. Most importantly, you just can’t tell who will be affected and how much – even the most outgoing, confident person can experience homesickness. This is nothing to worry about; we just want you to be prepared!
Ways to recognise it:
You may feel you don't 'belong' or as if you're being left out. You might feel a little paranoid – as if people might be talking about you behind your back. Or you may feel exhausted by the effort of trying to fit in.
But if you find the tears welling a little too easily or that your sole excursion from your bedroom is for the bathroom, it’s time to break what can become a downward spiral.
How to avoid it:
Try these simple ideas to help you keep busy and settle in quickly:
Get out more! Whatever you do, don’t stay locked up in your room all day – you must get out and meet your neighbours. After that first initial step of saying hello (yes, that’s all it takes!) you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it earlier!
Always prop open the door to your room when you’re in – people are so much more likely to pop their head in and say hi than if it’s locked shut.
RAG, Ents, bops, freshers’ ball, pub crawls – whatever your university or students' union has lined up, get involved! Everyone is new together so get out there and meet people.
If you want to have a drink, don’t drink too much. You want to remember names and faces of new people you meet!
Most importantly, be yourself.
Decorate! Your room is your one bit of personal space at uni or college. In the first few weeks try and be out and about as much as possible, but for the times that you’re in your room, you want to make it feel like home. Some uni’s provide bedding, but trust us, you will want to have your own! If you can’t physically bring it with you, why not go out and buy a nice rug, some fun pillows or a blanket. It just makes your room more personal and cosy, not to mention comfortable!
You probably won’t be able to paint the walls, but why not bring posters or wall hangings to decorate (don’t forget the blue-tak!)
Take a few photos to keep up around your room or on the walls. Then, when you need them, your family and friends are there.
Bring snacks like tea, coffee, biscuits
- makes you feel at home and a great way to chat to new friends and invite them in for a cuppa!
Keep in touch. Don’t loose touch with family and friends. You may be so distracted in the first few weeks going out and meeting new people, but when you need them, family and friends are always there for you. So don’t ignore them, stay in touch!
Expect it to be nerve-wracking, occasionally! Sometimes you will feel nervous, but that is OK and completely normal! It’s new people and a totally new situation after all.
Pace yourself! Don’t try to do EVERYTHING. Make sure you leave yourself enough time to relax and get enough sleep. If you don’t, you’ll just end up exhausted, run down and you’ll most likely catch a cold!
Don't be pressurised. If you don’t want to do something, don’t. That’s all that needs to be said really. Use your common sense and don’t get pushed into anything.
Don't bottle problems up. Whether it’s problems at home or with one of your new friends, just talk about it. Tackle minor things as they come up and don’t let them get bigger and bigger by not addressing them.
Do what you enjoy! Don’t feel that you have to hang around with your housemates/flatmates/neighbours all the time. Go to meetings, society gatherings or events that YOU like the look of – even if your new friends don’t. You’ll meet yet more people and your friendship group will get bigger and bigger!
Be organised from day one! You have so much freedom at University and the temptation maybe all play, no work. But don’t forget important things like registering in the first week and signing up for your courses. Keep a calendar of what’s going on and write important reminders down. Don’t let things get on top of you.
How to cope with homesickness:
Talk about it!! Rather strangely, some people seem to prefer to suffer than taking the easy solution. There is no reason to be ashamed about homesickness, there’s nothing childish about it and it affects people at all ages. Homesickness often dissolves away naturally in the first few weeks anyway, so if you do experience it, don’t panic. Rest assured, new people and places can become very familiar very quickly…
Be careful about contact with home when you’re feeling down. It’s great to stay in touch but too much contact may make it very hard to settle in. 10 phone calls home everyday or returning home every weekend may just make things harder.
If you really think you've made the wrong decision... For a few people, it may be the wrong choice of university. Or even going to university might not be right for them at all. Just make sure, whatever you’re thinking, that you speak to people about it, and don’t make any rash decisions.
Who to contact:
Personal Tutors, parents and friends are often the best first place to turn. Just talking through your worries or problems can help a great deal. If you’re feeling unwell, talk to your GP, or people like the Samaritans are always there to listen.
You can speak to University counsellors, therapists and psychiatrists, tutors and mentors. In theory, personal tutors are the first contact point for students throughout their university career. Nightline services are free and anonymous. Confidential phone lines are staffed by trained volunteers who can provide a friendly non-judgemental ear. Some also have drop-in centres.
Whatever you do, don’t tackle homesickness alone!
Homesickness affects everyone differently. Some people just get an inkling, maybe in the first few days they feel a bit low being away from their home and family. For others it may be something that lasts and can lead to depression or anxiety. Most importantly, you just can’t tell who will be affected and how much – even the most outgoing, confident person can experience homesickness. This is nothing to worry about; we just want you to be prepared!
Ways to recognise it:
You may feel you don't 'belong' or as if you're being left out. You might feel a little paranoid – as if people might be talking about you behind your back. Or you may feel exhausted by the effort of trying to fit in.
But if you find the tears welling a little too easily or that your sole excursion from your bedroom is for the bathroom, it’s time to break what can become a downward spiral.
How to avoid it:
Try these simple ideas to help you keep busy and settle in quickly:
Get out more! Whatever you do, don’t stay locked up in your room all day – you must get out and meet your neighbours. After that first initial step of saying hello (yes, that’s all it takes!) you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it earlier!
Always prop open the door to your room when you’re in – people are so much more likely to pop their head in and say hi than if it’s locked shut.
RAG, Ents, bops, freshers’ ball, pub crawls – whatever your university or students' union has lined up, get involved! Everyone is new together so get out there and meet people.
If you want to have a drink, don’t drink too much. You want to remember names and faces of new people you meet!
Most importantly, be yourself.
Decorate! Your room is your one bit of personal space at uni or college. In the first few weeks try and be out and about as much as possible, but for the times that you’re in your room, you want to make it feel like home. Some uni’s provide bedding, but trust us, you will want to have your own! If you can’t physically bring it with you, why not go out and buy a nice rug, some fun pillows or a blanket. It just makes your room more personal and cosy, not to mention comfortable!
You probably won’t be able to paint the walls, but why not bring posters or wall hangings to decorate (don’t forget the blue-tak!)
Take a few photos to keep up around your room or on the walls. Then, when you need them, your family and friends are there.
Bring snacks like tea, coffee, biscuits
- makes you feel at home and a great way to chat to new friends and invite them in for a cuppa!
Keep in touch. Don’t loose touch with family and friends. You may be so distracted in the first few weeks going out and meeting new people, but when you need them, family and friends are always there for you. So don’t ignore them, stay in touch!
Expect it to be nerve-wracking, occasionally! Sometimes you will feel nervous, but that is OK and completely normal! It’s new people and a totally new situation after all.
Pace yourself! Don’t try to do EVERYTHING. Make sure you leave yourself enough time to relax and get enough sleep. If you don’t, you’ll just end up exhausted, run down and you’ll most likely catch a cold!
Don't be pressurised. If you don’t want to do something, don’t. That’s all that needs to be said really. Use your common sense and don’t get pushed into anything.
Don't bottle problems up. Whether it’s problems at home or with one of your new friends, just talk about it. Tackle minor things as they come up and don’t let them get bigger and bigger by not addressing them.
Do what you enjoy! Don’t feel that you have to hang around with your housemates/flatmates/neighbours all the time. Go to meetings, society gatherings or events that YOU like the look of – even if your new friends don’t. You’ll meet yet more people and your friendship group will get bigger and bigger!
Be organised from day one! You have so much freedom at University and the temptation maybe all play, no work. But don’t forget important things like registering in the first week and signing up for your courses. Keep a calendar of what’s going on and write important reminders down. Don’t let things get on top of you.
How to cope with homesickness:
Talk about it!! Rather strangely, some people seem to prefer to suffer than taking the easy solution. There is no reason to be ashamed about homesickness, there’s nothing childish about it and it affects people at all ages. Homesickness often dissolves away naturally in the first few weeks anyway, so if you do experience it, don’t panic. Rest assured, new people and places can become very familiar very quickly…
Be careful about contact with home when you’re feeling down. It’s great to stay in touch but too much contact may make it very hard to settle in. 10 phone calls home everyday or returning home every weekend may just make things harder.
If you really think you've made the wrong decision... For a few people, it may be the wrong choice of university. Or even going to university might not be right for them at all. Just make sure, whatever you’re thinking, that you speak to people about it, and don’t make any rash decisions.
Who to contact:
Personal Tutors, parents and friends are often the best first place to turn. Just talking through your worries or problems can help a great deal. If you’re feeling unwell, talk to your GP, or people like the Samaritans are always there to listen.
You can speak to University counsellors, therapists and psychiatrists, tutors and mentors. In theory, personal tutors are the first contact point for students throughout their university career. Nightline services are free and anonymous. Confidential phone lines are staffed by trained volunteers who can provide a friendly non-judgemental ear. Some also have drop-in centres.
Whatever you do, don’t tackle homesickness alone!
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